WISHLIST

Glitters

** If there's one wish that you would be given the chance to ask for, what would it be? Not that you would also be given the certainty that it would be granted, but just the chance to ask for it. Would you jump on it even if at the back of your head you're thinking "what for? I wouldn't be sure to get it anyway."

** Was there ever a chance that you have liked something or someone so much - the kind of like that would get you bitten crazy it creates flutters in your tummy - and did nothing about it out of fear?

** You closed your eyes and trusted. You thought that it was it. Gave yourself so much faith you had to leap just to be able to do so. Indestructible for a moment, may also take quite a while. Your eyes were closed when you gave it, and now you're thinking what is it going to be like when you open them because for the longest time you have been seeing nothing, just feeling.

** Something happens. It gave you the high. You now adapt, change, grow, whatever else. It is making you think and feel it would be permanent. Then that something suddenly and unexpectedly becomes over and had to walk out, go. You are now being forced to unlearn. And everything else now seems so hard to live by from then and there on.

** What if the world was made of thin hard glass? Everytime you touch it, it gives you answers more reliable than what google does. Easy, ain't it? But it would surely be not worth it.

Weekend

Three things that I always keep in mind:

(a) There are so many things nowadays that will give you a quick fix - coffee, Advil, booze, etc. But for me, two things will surely make you okay and stay that way for the longest time possible. Friends and a clean conscience.

(b) Traffic, sometimes, is a blessing in disguise. It allows you to stare blankly at those lights, and just breathe.

(c) Shit happens. Problems arise. People leave. We get hurt. There are so many things that we may complain and bitch about every damn day, but just being alive is one hell of a thing to be thankful for. And we should never forget that.

Seriously.

Staind

It's been a while, eh? Geez, the last blog that I've posted was dated February. Haha. It's time for a new one, I say.

What has happened between the last blog and this new one? Much? I dunno. I had a relationship with someone, swamped myself with work, fought with my dad for the nth time, wasted money, time, blah.

Ummm, I dunno what else to put on here or where to start to make this journal sound decent. Maybe I should just put in whatever butts in my mind. Ahh, what about my recent post in facebook? Heehee.

See, I've been going round in circles, but I am somehow managing to make myself survive from all the stress and emotions I have been going through lately. I don't want this journal to sound mushy and all, but, yeah, I went through fry just recently.

Alright, this is what I have in mind right now:

• Juris' song "Di Lang Ikaw"
• Would I look hot if I wore glasses?
• Coffee date with Hazel later tonight
• What gift would Santa give me for Christmas?
• Are dolphins just gay sharks?
• Does God hate poor people that's why tornadoes always hit trailer parks?

Told 'ya I am in doom.

Love Works

Life has it's way of playing us. You see, each time that you get something done or straightened out, the bitch always finds a way to mess itself up. Many people also have written books about the "how to's" and about the "bitch" itself.

Some people say that you could do it. Adjust. Change. Choose this, that. Whatever.

Raise your hand if you already have asked for something to happen. Wished for someone to arrive. Prayed so hard to get something. Worked like a son of a bitch to achieve whatever it is you aimed for. You get one of these things, and the next thing you know, life is already throwing a trick on you.

Here's the deal, I've been praying and hoping for someone to come. Years, I've been patient. Cheesy as it may sound, but I've grown so much, learned a lot, got hurt and dusted myself off. Yes, my friend. Love, indeed. And it, somehow, came.

Here's another deal, there's this dream I've been always wanting to get. I've worked so hard for it, poured so much amount of heart into it, prioritized it, and lived it. Career has always been on the top of the list. It is almost in my reach.

And life said, "thou could only chooseth one."

So here I am now. Caught in the middle of two choices. Two decisions. One I've been fighting like hell to have, and the other one, I've been fighting like hell to get. Circumstances won't allow, and I could not have both.

Come on in. Splurge.

Survival MODE

Wilhelmina Slater (Editor-in-Chief of MODE Magazine) and Betty Suarez (the ex-assistant to Daniel Meade, just got recently promoted as Features Editor) having a conversation at the Meade Publications steam room.

Wilhelmina: Already enjoying the perks, i see?

Betty: Oh! Hello wilhelmina. It's been uh, a rough day.

Wilhelmina: I hope you're not expecting a pet dog.

Betty: No, no, Oh God, no.

Wilhelmina: Good.

Betty: Uhm, being an editor, It's more complicated than I imagined.

Wilhelmina: We're really gonna do this? Wake up and smell the aromatherapy, Betty. Being an assistant is bootcamp. Being an editor is war. You have your allies, you have your enemies. Oftentimes you can't tell which is which.

Betty: Sorta feels like I have more enemies than allies right now.

Wilhelmina: (Smiled and made a short chuckle) Yes you do. Oh and by the way, malaria? Really? Like I'd ever put disease written poor people in the pages of this magazine.

Betty: How did you know about that?

Wilhelmina: I know everything.

Betty: Oh, (paused) how does one survive?

Wilhelmina: You look after yourself. If it means screwing over everyone else, so be it. (Stands up)

Betty: What if you're not that kind of a person?

Wilhelmina: Well then, you change. Or you'll be eaten alive.

** In one way or another, we find ways on how to survive. At first, we do it our way. Other people may see it as lame, weak, or at times, blunt. With both of our ears open we have no choice but to hear them. We hear and look deep into ourselves and have a rain check. Listening is another part of the story. I mean, we could try. But when we look in front of the mirror one day, and don't like what we see because of what we became, that's the time when we fall apart.