Rain or Shine

We are entitled to express whatever emotions we cannot contain to ourselves.

Oftentimes we use our mouths and say silly/funny/stupid words.

Shout. Cry. Laugh. Complain. Rant. Curse.

And more often than not, people who witness these are our friends.

Whether it be madness or just plain stupidity that they've seen,

They're still gonna be there.

Real friends don't judge. They just, remain as your friends after everything.

I am just thankful I have a lot.

Knock Knock

Minsan, kapag nananahimik tayo sa buhay, yung tipong nasanay ka na sa mga ginagawa mo araw araw dahil ilang taon ka na ring ganun at kabisado mo na ang takbo ng araw mo ay okay ka na dun. Akala mo okay ka na ng  ganun.

Tapos biglang may darating, iibahin ang takbo ng mga bagay bagay sa buhay at paligid mo. Mag iiba ang routine mo sa araw araw, kasi kasama na sya sa araw araw mo.

Papasayahin ka.

Tapos, 

biglang 

aalis.

Pagkaalis nya, bakit ang hirap hirap ng bumalik sa punto ng buhay mo nung bago sya dumating? Eh samantalang ilang taon ka namang nabuhay ng wala sya.

It Was You

When you invited me to go out on a date, I said yes.

I remember how cold the coffee has gotten before I arrived.

And when you smiled,

it changed everything.

Because from there and then on, I felt butterflies.

I fell for the sweet words and kind gestures,

I can even say that I felt love in that instant.

We were high, nothing else existed but us.

It's as if we were drowning with the strong feeling,

and not fighting back.

Yes, it was perfect. It was very beautiful

but only for a moment.

It seemed to us that it was going to last forever.

Or at least for me, it did.

Because, like, every dream, it had to end.

I found out in a not-so-pleasant way how you bluffed.

How you played

and how you faked.

It's as if I was stabbed.

And I had no choice but to walk away.

I never looked back.

It was it. The end of us.

I thought what I did was the right thing

Walking away and not looking back

but thoughts of you haunt me every night

and follows me through the day, every damn day.

The attempt to have a relationship failed.

One after the other.

It kind of occurred to me that I was finding "you" in them.

There was never you in them.

They will never be you.

You were a rare find.

An angel to my eyes.

Heartless.

Three years gone.

Looking up the sky, I told myself

that I would be okay.

Just like this.

Loving you deeply still. Even if no one else knows.

Even if you do not know.

Because for me, what matters is yesterday.

With you in it.

With your smile on it.

Closing Circles, Shutting Doors

There come some times when something reaches its end. Or it always happen - the end. Whether it be a difficult task that has finally been done after an immeasurable amount of hardship, a long-searched dream that has been found, waiting, agony, holding on, even life itself. Time may be there to always tell whether or not something is done. Or we oftentimes do it ourselves.

When something unpleasant happens, most likely we would blame ourselves and couldn't help but wonder what might have been if you were just able to think clearly that time to make the right decision. We hold on to the fact that, it is still not too late to change it, that there is still something we could do to make it right. But most of the time there isn't.

See, holding on to something consumes much part of you. Because in holding on, you beg and you ask, you dream and you think that there is still something that you can do. We are not superheroes.

We say that time heals. It does, as a matter of fact. But don't be too lazy to leave all the action to time. We should also do our part. Acceptance, for example, is a good start. Accept that there's nothing you can do to change the past. It has already happened and you did the best you could. When you are facing your shortcomings, do not forget the person you once are before that failure or ugliness occurred. Forgetting who we are and how good we used to be is a big monster that eats us alive.

Forgiveness to oneself may be too much to ask, because we always inject into our minds that it could have not happened if it were not because of your fault. We blame ourselves. Then again, would blaming yourself help? Certainly not.

See, moving on is a process. Letting go is a long road. You could not be hurt and be okay in an instant. It is very rare that it happens. Quick fixes may always be there, and life may throw you an easy way out. It's your call. You may be able to get out of the ugliness that fast, but ask yourself. Would you be helping yourself if you are going to escape?

It will come. And you owe it to yourself to at least go through the agony, for when the day comes, you can tell yourself that YOU LEARNED.